can't believe im writing a new one



got to stop this feeling...urrrrrrrggghhhh!!!
this reli sux..
this feeling grew & grew each day.
sumtyms cun stop thinkin bout her coz im so worried..
im juz scared if i'll loose her one day..
she's so important to me now..
haiy..
gotta stop this feeling.





Pretending is an observation not to for-see..

harniz sufiyan shah
im seriouslly,literally stupid..

i was so smangat just now that i culdn't sleep that i wrote my blog..
it was long, but unfortunately, i didn't save..haiy...

hmm..so lets make a bit of flashback..

hmm..i dun reli feel emo animure..
i just felt that im a very bad person.
i have my reasons.i'm trying to change, so this is what i'm scared that the outcome will turned to this.
i wanna b that guy whu can give that someone happyness.

Happyness that she'll b smiling 24/7..i know thats not possible..but with a bit of imagination u can.i dunnoe if i'm someone whom can inspire others or a role model..it made me laugh just thinking about it..

simply put..
i just wonder if i can reli make someone's life better or changed.or simply make someone smile .
Its like i wanna invent this drug that can make ani1 happy juz by taking it.but its just paranoia.
So i thought & thought..
This is crazy.but i/ve thought about it.

u..i hope u can support me in this.coz i reli thought about pursuing it,even though i have very low I.Q & low education.& i will reli work hard for it.



i wanna pursue in psychology(counsellor)It seems to b impossible, but i reli wanna change my life. & i just felt rite that this is the right path to my future.i dun care about what other ppl think animure.i reli wanna pursue it.

i hope u guys understand.









It matters not what you think, it matters more in what u believe
Harniz Sufiyan Shah

















P.S:I LoveYou:)


Here i am again..

i haven't realli update things that happened recently..

Well as u guyz can see im in NS now & i still have 1yr & 3mnths more to serve.
Everyday is a struggle even though others said that having a DRIVER for a vocation is the most relaxed ever..Well..

i protest.

it is relaxed..& wat i meant is, its too relaxed..im not complaining about having extra privelleges..
Well , all i know for a fact is that if u slip too much..the lazier u b'cum..& seriouslly i'm feeling that already.
can u believe it, im actually struggling from relaxing everyday..i know it reli sounds crapt & im juz being obnoxious ..but im tired of being lazy. I hate it alot actually.



So i figured out the problem.

1. Get a PSP.(modified one)

2. Study back(im taking my O"s next year, just waiting for the pending..hope i get it)

3. Keeping myself fit..( i wnt my six pack back!!hha.onli gt 4..hha)

4.And i think lastly drive very cautiouslly


Hope it works..
I'm really confident coz i reli wanna change.
Everyday i felt as if the earth has depart & i'm being abduct & foced to live with the "infected ones"hha..now i'm juz being paranoid.

And again ..i got nothin to do but write poets..

here goes one..



Courage is what we need to move on

Willingness to fight and look for new dawn

Hope in our heart and dreams in our eyes

We should aim to become noble and wise

Speaking truth and encouraging youth

Raising the bar and moving at par

Crossing every hurdle every hour

With Destination so near yet so far

Endurance to withstand Hardship or stress

Winning formula for achieving SUCCESS


That's why for only once in our lives
We must dream, & dream big we must,
For ignorance may be blissed
But if you let it wither
Your dreams will be crushed



The reason i'm like is coz, i'm turning 20 like in 2 weeks time.i dun wanna think bout it..its reli sad when u've reached 20. But i should make it into a new beginning.i must make thiz oppurtunity golden.

& i'm reli worried bout my dad.he's suddenly different.
Its been years that he prayed. but he suddenly did.
Its a blessing & a new beginning for the family.
But i'm very scared about the outcome.
coz he kept reminding me that im going to b the man of the house .
Take gd care of my mum & sis.
Its reli surreal to imagine if he's gg away..
i cun imagine it.i know he's sick now, he always pretend thats he's ok.
that's the reason he prayed.i knew.

i reli lurv my dad.he's the best dad ani son could ever wanted. i took him for granted. i made a lot of mistakes,which he's always been forgiving.i've dissapointed him alot of times, but he's always there for me.

god, plz dun take him away.

haiy..

i'm like super-emo now.


& abt me & sum1.i've realli fallen for her.
Trying to adapt again.
Entering the new zone.& i reli wanna make her happy.
And she got loads of peminat which she deny onli abit.but..i knew.

& i gotta stop feeling stupid..
There won't b a next time i promised.
i'll just keep quiet.



I am not a perfect person,
And I don't try to be.
I am just another imprisoned soul,
That is longing to be set free.

I don't want to be in this place anymore,
I don't want to shed anymore tears
I'm sick of always hiding inside of myself,
This has gone on for too many years

I don't want to show my emotions,
Or to tell you how I feel
I just want to know the difference,
Between what is fake and what is real

I'm just another lost soul,
That is waiting to be found
I'm just another liability,
That's just lying around

I'm just falling through the air,
And I'm about to hit the ground
But I don't expect anyone to catch me,
Because i'm used to the rounds






Well i think i'll stop here..i'll update again..i'm feeling super-emo..







Coz pretending has its reasons

Harniz Sufiyan Shah
Gosh..

Its 23 days to countdwn till my bithday..
I'm going to b an old man on my bthdae..

20..

is a very,very,very,very,very,very BIG number..

Hence, again im goin to have a boring bthdae tiz year,
its been a very long time since i had so so much fun on my bthdae.
& i don't think its going to happened tiz year.

There's so many things i wanna change bout myself b4 i turn 20.
i got a list..but its so damn long to write it dwn..but the last one..hmm..

kk..i'll write the last 3..

8.I wanna a new handphone(samsung omnia)

9.I want to go malaysia for a holiday at least for 3 days.

& the last one..hmmm..

10.To get a GF before my bithday

The last seems impossible..i've listed this since i entered NS..

I only managed to accomplished 5.


But nothin's impossible right..
To be honest there's alot of gals i get to know about.
My friends introduced & some i got to know on my own.

Some left me dying & Some always like to be in their own world,
some i..hmmm..lets just say they're too BIG for me..lol..i'm not being discriminating...
Its just not there..

The CLICK..(the feeling where u both parties felt the same way)


& i did found somone.


She really somehow changed me.i meant i always pretend to smile.
Even when im really down.i just kept smiling.i'm so used to it.
But when she came,its like magic.
She's stubborn,
She's un-predictable,
She's someone whu can relli make anyone smile,she just don't know it yet.

& she's someone i really have fallen for.


What u wrote yesterday made me believed you.
& you, i know & understood what you said..

but u cannot deny k..
u ada banyak peminat..hhha.:)

& unfortunately,i'm one of them.hha..(u got a SHREK for a peminat)hha



& i reli wanna say sorry if sometimes i made u misunderstand. I appreciate evryting u've done.
U reli made my day evrytime w/o fail.

& i reli hope u can give me time not only for myself but for us too.

Coz now you're the one COLOURED my LIFE.






"I'll still reach out for you even if i'm falling"

Harniz Sufiyan Shah