Live Life
Thursday, November 27, 2008, 7:52 PM

Days are numbered by the days we live

Life ends when you die

Take a moment now

Breathe the serenity

Throw the anger

Push the fears

Jump for laughter

&

Pull in the happYness:)

Harniz Sufiyan Shah

a poet i made by my own

please do give your comments, will really appreaciate it:)


Missing her
Tuesday, November 25, 2008, 8:33 PM
k..i'm really starting to miz tat person really bad.
i noe its not good to feign ignorance, wheter its blissed.
But it will really tear you deep inside, & that's what i'm feeling now

i know i'll stand no chance no more but still i have to face it,i think its better if i juz see her happy throughout with her perfect guy.i think its for the best.

NS Fever
Monday, November 24, 2008, 11:41 PM
Left 2 weeks till im gone frm beautiful s'pore.hha..yan exeggerating jek..hha..

cnfm miss tat someone.hha. well let's just say like i'm the stupidest guy to let it go..kk..hmm..many things happened tdae..

well..lets just start off with my cuzzin's new radio show on the net. He was really good at being the dj. Well he got help from his sis & our cuzin (hazim). They were really funny .I think i'm going to start mine too, in a while. Confirm i talk crapt all the way,hha. i'll call it the crunchy show!hha..

Well to satrt off with today i waited my uncle 3 hours to go johore. he said to get ready at 6. & i woke up at 5!..woah..i waited so long i slept 4 a while. & when he complained that he waited for 10 mins. i just show my "i wanna kill u face"..hha.. Then he shut up. Along the way on the road, while we stopped for a while at a petrol kiosk.i dunnoe which area. Across my uncle's car to the left, there was this girl in her dad's car(i think), i caught her looking at me. when i looked back she look somewhere else. I did the same thing too..hha. At last we both smile at each other. she was quite pretty:) she got the lady-like look. When our both cars hit off, we waved good-bye. i wonder when i'll see her again..hha..like NEVER.hha

We arrived at j.b around 09:45. & we had nasi ayam 4 breakfast..hha.i love nasi ayam at gelang patah..the best!somemore its damn cheap.i had extra rice. it was damn delicious. After we ate, we arrived at my uncle's house. it look so good now. i feel like going there everyday..hha. & there's a new neighbour in front of my uncle's house. They were friendly , & my uncle invite them to his house. & this man he got 3 daughters. i just tilt my head down..hha..shy mah..hha..

I was sitting one corner when one of them ask me to join them.
They were playing UNO!!
I really miss playing it..it was o fun..The three of them were Ayu, Fizah & Ida. They'ra a pair of twins(Ayu & Fizah) & one gal. but i think they look more like triplets ..hha.they really look alike .all three of them. i had fun just now. & made new friends. & i found out something really cool. They juz migrated here from U.S. No wonder their eng so superb..they're what u called,American borned malay..hha..They're only going to saty here a few weeks. glad made new friends, but a very long-distant one.

& aftr all thet 5 pm..arrived back at s'pore ,went to the lib ,pay my fines.

$79.53!!!wow!!

who can beat my record..hha.my uncle so shocked.
he was so furious at me.if he ever found out he screw me damn hard hard(guys dun get the wrong idea)hahaha..screw as in hardcore punishment.

Then went to meet my friends asnor ,ilham, aisyah, fizah & rina. We had loads of fun. They tease me about my ns..i was like a baby juz now..hha

& fizah. She was behaving wierd just now. she's the only one who didn't tease me juz now. Well i'm being paranoid. i just got to say, if u got something to say, spit it out.

Dun held it up or u'll live to regret it

We took alot of vids juz nw..which i'll post later..it was really funny.
Well i guess thats the end of it for tdae. cun wait to go ns. coundown to two weeks.

I'll reli miz u guys, well i don't think u guys will..hha.,especially that someone which i won't tell her, coz she'll noe if i give her clues..hha..i'll just keep it to myself..juz hope she'll b happy with the new guy:)

k..i'm gg off.


"Seeing Is Believing What Others Deny"


Harniz Sufiyan Shah

SHOCKED!
Sunday, November 23, 2008, 8:42 PM
Now i begin to feel my life is more meaningful after mush distraught & regrets. I juz found out something real shocking. Last thursday, i received a very important letter.

Im going for my ns..

& its in 2 weeks time frm today.

Now i really feel that i can do better, got alot of motivators,well my uncless will do..hha..

i'm throwing away the old me from now on. & i noe when i'm there there'll b alot of obstacles. Not only physical but mentally too.
I'm really tired right now, so i'm just going to post this real fast & mayb go to sleep.

& i'm missing someone real bad. My prepaid is low & this past few days i don't know who turn to. well just made a head start right.k..till here

"Never take a lollipop from a stranger, but do lick a few times"

Harniz Sufiyan Shah

Sky Kids- Must Watch Movie
Thursday, November 20, 2008, 4:44 AM
i'm blogging now at 04.44 am on a thursday.
i'm feelin @%$#^*(o)(o)!

I don't know what's tomorrow is gg to be like..
& i think i'm the only person who didn't wish qayyum on his birthday. Confirm dier meradang nyer. I'm feelin shit this few days, & i'm missing someone really bad. She must had thought i would've lost contact. Well i know i've been an ass all along. I'm always the one whu make ppl cry.

& tiz few weeks ,i've had the wierdest dreams ever. i don't how to explain it, coz it all came "jumble" up. Some of it was great & some .........dun wanna talk bout it. Lets juz say, i may have predict how i/m goin to die later. Well better b prepared huh. & i've been skipping work too little too many. gosh. i reli hate myself. I really don't know how's my life gg to b like in the next five years.
I really think its gonna b a big mess, unless i made something out of myself. I really gotta CHANGE.
I've really wasted my youth alot.
I've met friends who were there for me, but i was so foolish to throw the line.
How i wish things would change & we'll b back like the old days.

I watched this movie called "Sky Kids".It was really inspiring..its a must watch..

& i juz found out something really shocking..which i'll have to end for now

Clone
Friday, November 14, 2008, 6:48 PM
I'm so bored right now, another 2 hrs then can kick off dah..
really damn bored now..dah la tade keje nak buat..i finished too fast ar..shuld have taken my time..hha.

But 1st..i really can't get this out of my mind..this morning, my uncle fetch me as usual,& we go & eat at our usaul makan port(secret)lol..So as i was eating my usual nasi lemak..suddenly this LADY,i think around her mid-30's,came to me & started crying & wailing damn loudly. she kept yelling the name shahrin.

She was like,"SHAHRIN!SHAHRIN!BALEK DGN KAKAK!KAK RINDU SHAHRIN!".

She kept sayin tat repeatedly. I was stummed & shocked.
In my mind,"bler mase aku ada kakak".
The wierd thing she doesn't look like she's retarded, coz she look quite elegant. She look exactly like "Maya Karin", the malaysian celeb. My uncle & i kept sayin that you got the wrong person. & I was thinkin again. "oh gosh!, dun tell me i kena prank on some tv show". I was out of my wits, then suddenlly,she stopped. & she said,"eh, alamak..salah org ar deq. sorry eh". Den she cover her face & juz walk off..

I was like,"WTF!!???"
Tiz lady came shouting2,while ppl eatin, she came to me of all ppl & kol me "shahrin2" made me damn embarrassed & den walk off like tat..wtf!?

My uncle said,she may mistook me 4 sum1 else or mayb, She got split-personality(like nicky, in heroes)hha..k.i noe ,my uncle think too far..hha

After tat we ate quicly & was heading to work, when i thought it was finally over. There she was again. Waiting 4 me.i came up to her & asked tonns of q's."Why u do tiz? ,Why u do tat? ,Whu are you?, What u want frm me?, & many more.

And she answered. My uncle was right, she mistook me for someone else. She told us the whole story, & i decided not to write in my blog, coz i respect her. i decided to keep it private & confidential. & now we're friends:)
You guys juz figure out wad happened next k..hha..

Man!wad a crazy day tdae!!!hha

Reality Check
Wednesday, November 5, 2008, 7:43 PM
im here at thr office,another few minutes to get the hell out of here..

i still can't get over with yesterdae..
Now i noe i dun belong here. I should just leave.
I dun wanna b a burden & huge dissapointment.
I noe all the years thay brought me up. I reli wanna change & bcum some1 even betta than i am now. I'm not asking 4 perfectness, but i wanna undone my mistakes & pay back what i debt. & i know now, she'll probably hate me for sure.
I know i don't have time. & i finally began to realise that my whole life was wasted so much, way to much. I just feel i reli don't deserve ani1, they'll hate me 4 sure as they get to know me betta.

If i keep becuming wad i am now. I'm jus gg to hurt myself & the ppl around me even more. Im such an ass, its not a joke its true. I'm thinking bout quitting my job & look 4 a job where no one give a damn bout whu i am. Coz i noe i'm under my uncle's armpit's, he'll scold ani1 whu dares bully me. Damn it i can handle it on my own.I'm sick of being called that. Thats why i made that decision.
I reli hate it when i look at myself now. It reflects even worse than wad i feel now.
I juz lost some1 whu i've grown to like & now its all just pen'ned yestrdae.
I guess its 4 the best. Damn it , i'm going off now.

I'm Hypo-Crysm-Henm-Salym
, 12:36 AM
Saw my header?i myself dunnoe wad it means.im alone in my room now.im feeling like super shitty tonite..

I felt tat the earth juz revolves around me, w/o me moving. I felt as though i'm the last person on earth. I'm doing critical thinking right now, i'm thinking far. I'm thinking if i can survive out there. I noe u guys think that i'm probably tokin crapt about myself, well its kind of true.kae. The reason i'm feeling thiz way is bcoz of me & my family.

thiz past few yrs it hadn't been th same like before, i was so happy even though i get scolded all the time..& yar i was one bloody troublesome kid. i reli miz those times..Now is like ,u go do your own thing..I dun feel belong in my own house animure, im llik trapped inside a glass,i can see what's happening; but i cun do anitin.

For example my sis, she always thinks that there's always a tomorrow..;everyting can do later,"got time wad".. she always says sory but s doesn't mean it..u can tell frm her expressions..She's the Fickle-Minded gal..She doesn't realised her mistakes. i noe wad u guys are tinking.."juz gettin angry over that?" Well, for example: wad id ur sis/bro, done something terribly wrong, & all she could say "oh soryy,tak sengaje"..doesn't dat pisses u off?? Well it did for me..& she doen't treasure wad ppl gave her.. There was one time my aunt gave her tiz beautiful locket she juz put at one side & lost it.. & it happened alot of times.. i noe i/m being paranoid bout my sis. but i c'riuslly wanna the best 4 her.. Well congrats she got sixth in class, but dun think its not gonna b harder the next yr..k . rli tired of penn'ing bout my sis..

Nw , i wanna tok bout myself..
Like i mention b4..i dun feel like i belonged..
&
i noe tiz sounds crazy..but i noe..
i have a strong feeling that i/m a foster child..I dun have the facts yet. BUt i noe wad i've been thru tiz 19 yrs of living.. & i noe i dissapoint my "parents" alot of times..though they still bear wif it..
In other words i'm like the worst son any parent could have..
SOmetimes i wish i can juz tell my secrets to them(parents). But i noe the aftermaths. IT will b one hectic dilemma.I guess 4 now i cun do nuthin much. I can juzt do with wad i am now & change things for the betta.
I tried my bez, but im still here.juz wish sum1 can push me..& wake me up, frm tiz bloody nightmare.. Juz wish kak idah was here. but i'll probably imagined it the whole time. She will b happy up there:)

& sumtyms i noe..i can always turn to sum1 even though i sound like an ass or an irritatin brat..haha..& thanks to that sum1 whu made me feel betta juz a moment agao..

u noe whu u are, MIZ COOKIEZ:) I juz hope we'll start off betta than we are now:)

*Just when you think all hopes are lost, Look at the stars& you'll change your mind*

Harniz Sufiyan Shah.
01:10am
Wednesday

Happy Bthdae Yuslinda!
Saturday, November 1, 2008, 1:05 AM
its reli been a long10 time since i've updated my profile..lame gler sey..hmm..if i wanna start bck frm oct..dah lame tu..hmm..k..

but b4 anitin..i wanna do sumtin i/ve never done b4..& even if u didn't ask me to do it..i/m gg to do it anwae..sort of..hha:)k..

well wad im gg to do is tiz:



HAPPEE BTHDAE YUSLINDA!

It's your birthday and I can't be there
But I'll send you a special birthday wish and a little prayer
Have a happy birthday
I hope that all of your birthday wishes come true
May you have a great time today and find happiness in everything you do.

it may b simple but i do hope u like it..

& gy srh ur crush uat cam gini jugak..cnfrm klu dier tau..dier jeles nyer..hha..k..enjoy ur bthdae tdae aites..

best wishes frm yan:)