I'm Hypo-Crysm-Henm-Salym
Wednesday, November 5, 2008, 12:36 AM
Saw my header?i myself dunnoe wad it means.im alone in my room now.im feeling like super shitty tonite..

I felt tat the earth juz revolves around me, w/o me moving. I felt as though i'm the last person on earth. I'm doing critical thinking right now, i'm thinking far. I'm thinking if i can survive out there. I noe u guys think that i'm probably tokin crapt about myself, well its kind of true.kae. The reason i'm feeling thiz way is bcoz of me & my family.

thiz past few yrs it hadn't been th same like before, i was so happy even though i get scolded all the time..& yar i was one bloody troublesome kid. i reli miz those times..Now is like ,u go do your own thing..I dun feel belong in my own house animure, im llik trapped inside a glass,i can see what's happening; but i cun do anitin.

For example my sis, she always thinks that there's always a tomorrow..;everyting can do later,"got time wad".. she always says sory but s doesn't mean it..u can tell frm her expressions..She's the Fickle-Minded gal..She doesn't realised her mistakes. i noe wad u guys are tinking.."juz gettin angry over that?" Well, for example: wad id ur sis/bro, done something terribly wrong, & all she could say "oh soryy,tak sengaje"..doesn't dat pisses u off?? Well it did for me..& she doen't treasure wad ppl gave her.. There was one time my aunt gave her tiz beautiful locket she juz put at one side & lost it.. & it happened alot of times.. i noe i/m being paranoid bout my sis. but i c'riuslly wanna the best 4 her.. Well congrats she got sixth in class, but dun think its not gonna b harder the next yr..k . rli tired of penn'ing bout my sis..

Nw , i wanna tok bout myself..
Like i mention b4..i dun feel like i belonged..
&
i noe tiz sounds crazy..but i noe..
i have a strong feeling that i/m a foster child..I dun have the facts yet. BUt i noe wad i've been thru tiz 19 yrs of living.. & i noe i dissapoint my "parents" alot of times..though they still bear wif it..
In other words i'm like the worst son any parent could have..
SOmetimes i wish i can juz tell my secrets to them(parents). But i noe the aftermaths. IT will b one hectic dilemma.I guess 4 now i cun do nuthin much. I can juzt do with wad i am now & change things for the betta.
I tried my bez, but im still here.juz wish sum1 can push me..& wake me up, frm tiz bloody nightmare.. Juz wish kak idah was here. but i'll probably imagined it the whole time. She will b happy up there:)

& sumtyms i noe..i can always turn to sum1 even though i sound like an ass or an irritatin brat..haha..& thanks to that sum1 whu made me feel betta juz a moment agao..

u noe whu u are, MIZ COOKIEZ:) I juz hope we'll start off betta than we are now:)

*Just when you think all hopes are lost, Look at the stars& you'll change your mind*

Harniz Sufiyan Shah.
01:10am
Wednesday